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ACP Pradyuman to solve ‘Petrol Price Hike’ case!

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This **FICTIONAL** article appeared in the youth magazine scribido and can be also checked out HERE.




By Delusional Reporter



24 hours after the UNION govt. took a unanimous and unilateral decision, without consulting M(ao)amta Didi, to raise funds for themselves after 2014 elections, by hiking the price of petrol, all over India, there was a bastion clamor and detestation in public domain.

So to mollify the ire of the public and of course, trying to score lowest brownie point of being in power after 2014, UPA supremo and Mother Italy of India has asked the most renowned and putative ACP of India ACP Pradyuman to crack the ‘petrol price hike’ case.

Without wasting a minute, the CID team of extreme hardly talented on screen officers were quick to rush to their own office and start the investigation.

ACP: (Using his signature right hand, THUMB RULE) Abhijit, petrol ka price badha hai yaar.

Abihijit: (scratching his chin) haan Sir, mujhe be ye maajla kuch samaj mai nai aa raha hai.( now scratching his head.)

Daya: (Punching his palm with right hand) Sir, ye PETROL ka daam badh gaya hai.
 

Fredrick: (Scratching his body parts) Sir (with a childish tone) aapko Petrol ke daam ki padi hai, yahaan mujhe khujle ne pareshaan kiya hai.(upset) jaaiya sirji, mai aapse baat nai karta.

Daya: (with stern tone) Freddie!! Chup.. tumhare khujli ka case hm baadmai solve karenge!! Paile ye petrol ka kaam niptate hai.

Abihijit: Sir, Mujhe ye samaj mai nahi aa raha hai ki, govt. ne BUDGET session ke baad hi,wo bhi rat-to-rat price rise kiya.(everybody looks here and there randomly and pretends to be thinking.)

ACP: Haan Abhijit. Baat to tumne barabarkahi hai. Is pe dhyan dena padega ki petrol ka daam, Rs. 7.50 se hi q badha? 2.50 ya 3.50 ya 6.50 se qnahi badha!! Lagta hai ye 7.50 ke peeche kuch badha raaz hai. (scratching his head again)

(Dr.Salunkhe comes in, with his new hot secretary. Abhijit startts staring and giving seepish looks)

Dr.Salunkhe: Dekho ACP, maine forensics se confirm kiya hai ki ye wo petrol nai hai jub hum bachpan mai dekha karte the, ye ek naya kism ka petrol hai jo smuggle kiya jata hai IRAN se..!!! ye petrol Govt. ko bahut bahut fayda karwata hai.

ACP: hmmmm…hmmm….matlub petrol mai jaruur kuch kala hai…(going towards the window pane) iska matlub, petrol ka daam badha hai.. ( speaks with excitement) nahi!! Isse to ye sabit hota hi ke ab public ko petrol ke liye jada paise dene padhenge!!.
Ye sab jo kar raha hai wo bada shatir hai.. wo ye sab jaan buuj ke kar raha hai!! Bus ye pata nai chal raha hai ki wo ye sab kaise kar raha hai! Abhijit tumara kya kehna hai..
(looks at Abhijit, but he is busy in staring the girl and giving smiles and flying kisses)
(Shouts) Abhijit.. ye kya Ladki ko dekh rahe ho… kaam pe dhyan do.. jaldi shoot hoga to jaake EKTA KAPOOR ki  ‘BADE
 ACHE LAGTE HAI’ dekh sakte hai…. Suna hai aaj kal wahan pe kiss-wiss ho raha hai.

Abhijit: Kya hai be buddhe!
!! Saale teen potonka DADAJI lagta hai aur kiss-wiss dekna  chata hai….(looks at his watch…)
Chalo nikalte hai sab…  TIME HO gaya BADE ACHE LAGTE HAI  serial ka… isse akele hi solve karne do ye case.

(everyone leaves and ACP is alone… very rued… at last… he says with a heavy heart)
“ Saali UPA ki Sarkar, unki to M!@#!@$#…. B!@##%…… Janata ko to banaya… Ab saale mujhe ye case deke fir se chu!@@# banaya!!
! …….chalo anyways, ab ye episode ka last line to bolna he hoga……………….

Chahe ye Sarkar kitna bhi JURM kare, lekin ek din, JURM jaruur bahar ayega.. aur phir baithenge ye, JAIL mai…. Aur saale CHAKKI peesne mai bhi SCAM karenge”
 
                                               
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