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HOME MINISTER P CHIDAMBARAM TO STAR IN RAM GOPAL VERMA’S NEXT UNDISCLOSED FLICK?

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*** please note, before all distinguished MPs try to create a ruckus in Parliament over this short piece of mine, I hereby declare that , if anyone is culpable for this piece of derisive article, then it's my insane mind and thoughts :D, and not me!! ... I don't want to be jailed, even though it will give huge publicity to my article.....
Statutory Warning: this is a piece of crap and none of it is true!! ***

By Delusional Reporter

The other day in the Rajya Sabha, Mr.P Chidambaram got a call abruptly when he was giving his next set of ready-made explanation. As usual, he was perturbed with umpteen spelling mistakes in the given sheet. He frowned and grinned at Pranabda angrily, lurking behind the Gandhi-inspired spectacles. In reply to him, Pranabda, deliberately and cunningly looked the other side and shared some hard-to-express-by-gestures with Abhishek Manu Singhvi, only to be disappointed that he was Mr.Narayan Swami and not Abhishek. He gifted himself with a small hit on his head and thought if he had color blindness. He also realized that Abhishekji was busy trying to sue Fikileaks for copyrights on his personal pictures.


About the call, Chidambaramji’s face was lit up with unbound happiness and joy, the moment he saw RamGopal Verma’s miscall. Leader of opposition in Rajya Sabha and all BJP members turned blue and were very much perturbed to see this exhalation on Chiduji’s face. An estranged BJP MP got up from his seat and demanded to the speaker to grant them ‘STRATEGIC TIMEOUT’ so that everyone can form a circle and decide the next game plan to disrupt the house.

Meanwhile, Chiduji called him back and I managed to get the transcript of the speech between Chidambaramji and Ramuji, but unfortunately we had to censor and scrutinize it meticulously or else, like the recent Cartoon ruckus, ruckus over this transcript would be generated after half decade.

Ramuji: (speaking with a very low cadence) Hello. Namaskara. All is well? (Before he could ask the next question, he was interrupted by Chiduji).

Chiduji: sorry, I am used to interrupt like this. See, I am ready to prove my innocence, I mean my son’s innocence by acting in your film, which you are about make named, ‘FOUL DEAL’.

Ramuji: (suddenly shouts ecstatically) how the hell did you know about my film?!! I haven’t made it public yet?!

Chiduji: (raising his collar along with………..no it’s not lungi, it’s his hands in the air) dude!! I am HOME MINISTER!! I have IB reports on your film, though sometimes, I wonder why IB does report me after the terror attacks. (Slight coughing) anyway, so is there a deal?

Ramuji: yae, yae, saar (sir), fix role. (Started humming, govinda, govinda, govinda, govinda…..)

Chiduji: hey Ramuji, don’t sing that song or else I will probe your role in Saffron terror. That’s a typical BJP-RSS song you see. (Ramuji stopped hurriedly) so when can I come for auditions? Please Ramuji, don’t think that I am such a BIG minister in UPA and you can take me coz of my position. (Again raising his collar, only!!)


Ramuji: hey, no, no kanna.. I have already seen your emotional piece of acting past two days. I just loved the amazing delivery of dialogue, ahha.. What a superb style. Mindblowing!! I have even made item girls ready for the movie.

Chiduji: (totally confused of what he is talking. Out of curiosity, he asks) can you tell me which dialogue? Which line?

Ramuji: wokay, i know you wanna hear it from me (starts teasing: aahaan haaan haan) the other day you said in RAJYA SABHA to BJP MP, “May God forgive the person who made the statement in the Lok Sabha.”

And the latest one, just stole my heart and made me see that fire, hidden desire and skill in you to become a great future actor. Here it comes,
“It would be much simpler if somebody took a dagger and plunged it into my heart than questioning my integrity”
What a fantastic expression of true melodramatic emotions!! This line replaced my all time favorite line by Shashi Kapoorji, ”mere paas, MAA hai”.

Chiduji: (fuming with anger) how dare you accuse me like that? Didn’t you know, me and my son gave such statements assessing the gravity of the situation. (Now voice becomes shaky and mild) I am so naive, but, people like you trap me!! Cross check my integrity, patience. I am like a lotus in pond of mud and filth. Everybody is busy in maligning me. (Once again cutting him in the middle)

Ramuji: manh!!(Jumping from his seat in Dharavi jhopadpatti office) this is the exact type of acting I am looking for!! Chiduji you have given more than I expected. I was fed up teaching acting to Randeep Hooda, Abhishek Bacchan through numerous films, but you are a maverick actor. I am getting the contract now there.

Chiduji: (rued and poignant) no, I am not acting!! I know, this is a conspiracy from BJP-RSS, because I have initiated probe against the RSS hand in SAFFRON TERROR!! You’re so mean man!! Don’t come here or I will have you arrested for accepting the share in the AIRCEL-MAXIS deal!! Get lost!!!
(Disconnected the call in forlorn state)

Ramuji (to himself): saala apna time hi kharab chal raha hai, no actor is ready to act with me!! Anyways I will offer him share in my production house. Who knows he may agree!! (A wily smile appears on his face) anD he starts sipping the cutting!!

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